Life lessons from a Wardrobe Malfunction

30 Mar Life lessons from a Wardrobe Malfunction

Could I train myself to be alert to Divine Guidance?

As we discussed in the last post, I decided my best bet for discovering the answer was to conduct an experiment.

The Experiment Method

The experiment would be with a low-stakes situation.

Too many times in the past, I had dismissed an idea or impulse. I shooed them away when they did not fit into my typical pattern of doing things.

I’d started to wonder whether I was turning my back on nudges that were there to offer Guidance. Perhaps I was resistant to honoring them because they meant I had to try something new.

Like most people, I find stepping outside of my trusted path to be challenging.

To lower my resistance, I decided to ‘risk’ trying out impulses in a situation that was pretty much guaranteed not to result in ugly, scary problems for me.

I would go about it like this: Once I selected my low-risk situation, I would watch for certain feelings– Surprise. Delight. Anything that made me laugh.

And especially for ideas that led me away from my routine.

My Low-Stakes Situation

It was a Saturday night. My two gal pals, Renee and Jessie, and I were going to attend a casual theater event.

The decision I decided to turn over to Guidance was: What to wear?

With this intention, I glanced briefly in my closet.

A bright floral top caught my attention. Something quickly grabbing my attention seemed to follow my experiment rules. So, I pulled the top out and placed it next to some white stretch jeans.

I liked it. Done with deciding.

That wasn’t so hard!

Then, I turned toward preparing my hair and makeup.

Applying makeup in the mirror and giving no more thought to my experiment, an image popped into my head.

It was a memory of a ‘Who wore it better?’ article I’d read in a magazine days earlier.

This was one of those―‘Let’s Compare these Two Female Celebrities who Wore-the-Same-Outfit‘. And, then, ‘Let’s Shame One of them by Choosing Which-One-Looked-Terrible-and-Why‘—- kind of articles.

I don’t remember who the celebrities were. But, they were both wearing the same yellow dress with splashes of red flowers on it. The movie star in one frame wore black shoes with it. The star in the other frame wore red shoes with it.

Which one wore it best? The celebrity wearing the red shoes, according to the ‘Judges. 

Why? What made the outfit? The red shoes!

Leaning into the Experiment

Rarely do I run across these celebrity magazines anymore. Instead, I flip through them while waiting in a hair or nail salon, as I had done earlier in the week.

This image would seem to have no relevance to me and no cause for it to get stuck in my memory. In fact, my first reaction when I saw that picture was to shake my head and laugh, thinking,  Why would women with access to a lot of money and fashion advice pick such a hideous dress in the first place?

So, I felt surprised the image would ever present itself to me again.

Surprise! Oh! That’s one of my prompts for Guidance in this experiment, I reminded myself.

This sent me on a listening adventure to see:  Is this my Inner Guidance playing with me? Nudging me?

Then, like a light bulb flash, I remembered,  I have red shoes!

They were about ten years old, had been worn about six times. Not at all in the preceding five years.

Laughing, I said aloud as if to unseen Guidance, “Okay. I’ll play. If that’s what you want.”

I fished the shoes out of the back of my closet and put them on my feet after I’d put on the top and jeans.

They actually look cute with the outfit.

Is this it? Inspired Guidance gives fashion advice?

Not one to readily move off her decisions, I still couldn’t help but take off the red shoes.

And try on my usual shoe style choice—black.

Wow! That rut of my thinking was hard to resist.

I coaxed myself into going with the less-traveled path for me: shoes with color.

Noting that the evening would require walking four long city blocks to the theater from our parking, I considered the fit of the shoes. Something about the shoes felt a bit…slippery. So, before leaving home, I placed some additional insoles in them for more stability. I consider the fit of the shoes in light of that.

Do You Always Get What You Want?

Or, Just Maybe You Find What You Need.

I picked up Renee and Jessie and drove us to the event.

But as soon as I got out of the car after parking, the shoes felt weird to me. So hoping my friends wouldn’t notice, I reached down and pulled out the insoles and threw them in the car before locking the door.

Those are making the shoes fit weird, I thought to myself.

We began walking toward the theater. But after I took about three steps, I knew something was very wrong.

My shoes felt like they were melting into the pavement. Stepping forward felt like I was sloshing around in mud.

Looking down at my shoes, I saw that my special red shoes had begun to completely disintegrate. The soft plastic bottom of the shoe split, the heel peeled backward, and the leather straps were tearing out of the sole where they had been attached.

“Lordy! I can’t walk in these!” I yelled out.

I was just about to say that I needed to run home and put on some different shoes when Renee came rushing up to me with her own troubles.

“I left home without all of our tickets!” She had been in charge of ordering tickets for us all. We would have to return to Renee’s house for the tickets.

So, I hobbled back to the car to drive back to Renee’s house with friends in tow.

With Renee’s dilemma, we wouldn’t now have time for me to also drive home to get a replacement pair of shoes.

While driving, I mulled over this turn of events:

Chuckling at myself, I mused, Well, I certainly must have gotten this wrong. Maybe I don’t have the right formula, or perhaps I’m just making all of this stuff up.

The Greater Challenge: Becoming Something Beyond My Routine

Now, though, I was in a pickle. How in the world would I walk to the theater in these messed-up shoes? I wondered.

Joe Dispenza suggests that to open up to recognizing guidance from Spirit requires that we break the habit of being ourselves.
We become so stuck in a rut about how we live that we miss the inspiration that Spirit sends us to live more refreshed lives.

–Joe Dispenza

In my predicament, I was stuck in a puzzle that contradicted my usual way of being in the world.

I could see that I had this unspoken rule that told me: I-Do-Not-Ask-For-Help.

Wow! It was so automatic. I had not even considered asking for help from my two friends.

Just then, Jessie, who was sitting in the back seat, grabbed the disposable sandal thongs leftover from my recent pedicure. Suddenly, she began flapping those thin-foam-nothings in my face suggesting a remedy for my dilemma.

“Here. You can just wear these!”

We all burst out laughing.

I felt myself loosen up. And, as I drove into Renee’s driveway, I mostly joking said, “Hey, if you have any old worn-out real flip flops in there, I could really use that!”

Much to my delight, she returned with stylish, comfy sandals for me to wear. And they were a perfect fit.

Life Lessons from an Experiment in Search of Divine Guidance

In my experiment, I played around, asking for creative impulses outside myself about a topic that was not threatening to me:  What to wear.

And, I expected to only find the answer to that simple, unimportant question.

Yet, what I discovered was deeply personal.

Following nudges in this very ordinary task of getting dressed, I nonetheless was led to see how I limited myself with an unspoken rule.

With that, I found myself in an opportunity to choose to be different.

For that moment, I could experiment with not buying into my rut of defending against assistance from others. And just witness what happens.

Breaking that habit shone a light that lifted my heart in joy.

• It had three grown women laughing through a mishap.

• It made me feel younger, like back in the day when girlfriends and I would get into each others’ closets and trade clothes.

• It taught me that when I ask for help, it makes my relationship more authentic and satisfying. Renee got to be her hero self. And, I got to receive a feeling of being supported and lifted up.

So, what do I make of this whole red shoe, follow-the-impulses idea? Was this really Divine Guidance?

Who knows?

I know that it was an exercise that harmed no one.

I know that the result of it moved me out of an unhelpful way of interacting with others.

And I know that it brought laughter, delight, and drew three friends’ hearts closer together.

Whatever caused that―I’ll take it without having to define it.

May something inspiring happen to you today. Dehryl

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