How to Surrender To a Future that’s Better Than Imagined

16 Jul How to Surrender To a Future that’s Better Than Imagined

To that instruction: “Just Surrender,” and my life would get happier, I often found myself rolling my eyes.

I was about “action,” and “making things happen.” This surrender-to-the-flow stuff sounded like pie in the sky.

So, No Thank You.

When I wasn’t being outright dismissive of this idea, I noticed that I clenched up inside when someone suggested it. Wondering whether I was missing out on something important, I felt inadequate.

Because even if surrendering was the right action, one thing was for certain:

I surely had zero clue how to go about doing it— this surrendering.

As I look back on my life, however, I can see occasions when this surrendering did occur. Without my even making it happen.

Now I See the Art of How this Surrendering Worked– Even When I Didn’t Know I Was Doing It.

This post is designed to offer tips to use the process of allowing life to offer a happier life.

Some years ago, I was surprised to receive an offer of employment to work as a psychologist in a psychiatric hospital.

At that time, I was already employed as a psychologist at a different hospital in another city. I was not unhappy in the job I held.

But when I later began working in the new-to-me hospital, I discovered how much I could enjoy going to work. Before, I had worked in isolation. The new job offered a delightful team of coworkers to share the ups and downs of our duties. The new job provided better financial rewards, and it was minutes from my home. I had been driving two hours a day to work at the other hospital.

Better still, in the ten-plus years I’ve been there, I blossomed personally and professionally in ways that I hadn’t imagined.

But how did this even happen? How did an opportunity land in my lap that was better than I had dreamed?

Looking back, I believe this Effortless Improvement of happiness in my life

was the result of

One Seemingly Insignificant Thought I Had

and the Action I Took in Response to It.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was still employed at the first hospital, there came a moment where I noticed that my day-to-day duties and responsibilities felt a bit stale.

I became aware of a subtle desire for something more, something new.

I only knew the name of one person in a similar job. Acting on this idea, I asked her for a meeting.

We met. I peppered the psychologist for clues to greater job satisfaction. By meeting’s end, though, I walked away without the answers my heart seemed to yearn for.

At the time, this disappointment made me doubt the spark of inspiration.

But, it turns out that Results of Inspiration Do Not Happen on a Deadline of My Choosing.

A year and a half after I began searching for ways to bring greater satisfaction to my job experience, I received the call. The psychologist I had met with unexpectedly took early retirement. I was asked to replace her, on her recommendation.

Remarkably, taking the new job brought precisely the kind of meaning and joy I had been seeking.

I became fascinated by this:

What is the recipe for moments in life that

–Even without the drive for a big life change–

Ripple transformation through a person’s life?

Much has been written about how to set and bring about specific goals we conjure. My question here is different:

How Might We Surrender to a Future that is Better than We Imagine?

Here is the Summary of a Five-Step Process

that can lead to surrendering to a Better Future

First, Pay Attention to Subtle Whisper from Within:

Those faint urges might be wisdom bubbling up from your heart, out-picturing your improved future calling to you—like a headlamp lighting the way. For me, in this instance, it was the desire for greater meaning and enthusiasm in my work life.

Second, Refrain from Compulsively Rushing Ahead to Gratify the Impulse:

Instead, “participate in what’s unfolding” at the moment, advises author Michael Singer. For me, what unfolded was an awareness that my work life felt dull in some way. I acknowledged that.

When I did, a new intention became clear: Find a way to elevate my work experience.

Third, To Intention, Add Positive Emotion.

My intention was paired with a positive emotion—Curiosity. (Here’s a link to the surprising benefits of Curiosity.)

Was there a way to enhance my work so I could feel more satisfaction in the job?

Fourth, Keep the Focus Small and Immediate.

Reaching only for how to feel better in my immediate circumstances of that time, it was easy to stay in the positive emotion.

So, I did not resist the impulse to contact a fellow psychologist for a meeting.

Had I know that action might lead to a complete change of jobs and how I worked, I likely would have lost my steady state of curiosity.

Instead, my ego would have woken:

• I would have weighed the pros and cons of making a job change.
• I would have become invested in making a certain kind of impression at the meeting.
• I would have become tense, with a need to control the outcome.

In short, my positive or neutral emotion would have been out the window!

Without my ego confounding my thinking, I simply took the inspired action with complete detachment.

It did not need to become anything. I could accept the meeting (or not) as it was.

Fifth, Surrender to the Flow of Life: Its Terms of What is Best, and When it Should Happen.

It seems that I unwittingly put these principles into place.

My desire for greater job satisfaction

and my action to find a way to live better in the moment

did not grant me what I thought I wanted.

What I thought I wanted was something just a little better, exactly where I was.

Instead, the Principle of Surrender

brought to me

the fulfillment of a profound yearning within my heart.

Have you ever been surprised that an inspired action you took led to a delightful result?

Tell me, in The Comments!

Disclaimer: Although the content here relates to well-being, it does not constitute the practice of psychology and is not designed to be a replacement for receiving professional mental health advice or services. Although medical and health information may be presented, it does not constitute medical advice and is not a substitute for proper medical advice or care. The information is designed solely to be educational for those who might be interested in the subject matter. Use this information as you see fit, and at your own risk. We recommend consulting a qualified mental health professional to better understand the most appropriate actions for the reader to take for their own unique circumstances, as appropriate.

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